I can’t sleep.
What do I want? I guess I would just like to get out everything that is stuck inside my head.
Here’s one thing: I have a slow-growing tumor that has metastasized to other parts of my body.
Yesterday I was told officially that I have Stage 4 Cancer.
What can one really do with that statement?
Laugh. Cry.
Think of a hundred ways to tell it to all your loved ones and in the end just end up blurting it out.
Why do I feel the need to share with others?
What wisdom can a soon-to-be 35-year-old female offer?
Other than knowing I have cancer, I am completely healthy with no pain.
Not even mild headaches.
I have an invisible incurable disease.
I am blessed that I am so lucky to not currently be distracted by the pain of some kind.
So I think before that happens, which could be months from now or years from now, I guess I want to take advantage and give my best self to others.
I don’t know what I’m giving yet or maybe I am just placing thoughts out there for my own therapy, but…