…5 months later. I think I have waited long enough. I wish I had more to share, but since my first post not a whole lot has changed for me personally. Time is a strange thing. Sometimes it feels like is passes so quickly and then other times it goes so slow. It’s October and if I look at what has happened over the last five months I have done so much and yet nothing at all. There have been lots of new things like personal training, part-time Amazon job, and a new position on the handbell non-profit board that I volunteer for.
When it comes to my paraganglioma journey I took one very small step. I finally talked to my primary care doctor about getting scans. Apparently I have all the time in the world! But then last week my co-worker passed away unexpectedly at the age of 36. You can imagine it was quite the shock. I’m 34! This is the first time I have known someone that was my age and passed. My brain started going a million miles a minute. Yet again, time is so strange. I thought about his accomplishments and his family and how things will be impacted at work. Then I thought about my accomplishments and family and how things would be impacted at work if I were to pass. How have I impacted the world? Am I fully living the purpose God has for me?
Sometimes we can get lost it the what ifs. Our minds can make us go crazy with all the possibilities. But over the last week and apparently the last five months, I feel like I have been doing exactly what I’ve needed to do and through it all I will trust God and what he has planned for me. The last two years have been really hard. I feel like I have been stuck in a valley for a really long time, but I can see the hill in the distance and I’m ready to work my way to the top with God’s help.
First my relationship with Jesus and allowing the Holy Spirit to guide me on my way. Then my family, my friends, my service and money, my work, and of course my health. All these things I bring to the cross and trust that God will be there.
Hills and Valleys by Tauren Wells has been a great reminder over the last two years. My hope is that even in the lows, I can worship and love God just like I do in the highs.
I’ve walked among the shadows
You wiped my tears away
And I’ve felt the pain of heartbreak
And I’ve seen the brighter days
And I’ve prayed prayers to heaven from my lowest place
And I have held the blessings
God, You give and take away
No matter what I have, Your grace is enough
No matter where I am, I’m standing in Your love
On the mountains, I will bow my life
To the One who set me there
In the valley, I will lift my eyes to the One who sees me there
When I’m standing on the mountain, I didn’t get there on my own
When I’m walking through the valley I know I am not alone
You’re God of the hills and valleys
Hills and valleys
God of the hills and valleys
And I am not alone
I’ve watched my dreams get broken
In You, I hope again
No matter what, I know I’m safe inside Your hand
On the mountains, I will bow my life
To the One who set me there
In the valley, I will lift my eyes to the One who sees me there
When I’m standing on the mountain, I didn’t get there on my own
When I’m walking through the valley I know I am not alone
You’re God of the hills and valleys
Hills and valleys
God of the hills and valleys
And I am not alone
Father, You give and take away
Every joy and every pain
Through it all, You will remain
Over it all
Father, You give and take away
Every joy and every pain
Through it all, You will remain
Over it all
On the mountains, I will bow my life, yeah
In the valley, I will lift my eyes, yeah
On the mountains, I will bow my life
To the One who set me there (to the One who set me there)
In the valley, I will lift my eyes to the One who sees me there
When I’m standing on the mountain, I didn’t get there on my own
When I’m walking through the valley I know I am not alone (I’m not alone)
You’re God of the hills and valleys
Hills and valleys
God of the hills and valleys (You’re the God of the hills)
And I am not alone
You’re God of the hills and valleys
Hills and valleys
God of the hills and valleys (You’re the God of the hills)
And I am not alone (the God of the valleys)
And I will choose to say, “Blessed be Your Name, yeah, yeah”
And I am not alone